Not the Same River

Shipping our things (or not) is, perhaps, the most confounding thing about this move. We have made several big moves in our lives (together and separately) and it probably comes as no surprise that when we were in our 20s, it was easy. A couple of suitcases and you’re all set! When we moved from London back to Los Angeles in 2012 (by then in our 30s), it was tougher – not because of the choices we had to make about what to keep and what to leave behind – but because we couldn’t really afford to take much of anything at all (we had lived in the same flat for four years and had a nice little life set up, but our student budgets were limiting). Several months later when we were setting up our apartment in Washington DC, it was so frustrating to literally buy all the things we had just several months prior in the UK.

To counter that experience, when we moved from DC back to Los Angeles in 2014, we paid to have stuff shipped. In the intervening years, we have gone through several iterations of moving and living – parting with old things that are no longer needed, acquiring new things in different seasons of life.

Our current season (now in our 40s) means we will be moving out of our first home (that we bought). It’s a small house, but we have furniture we love, we have a great book collection, we have artwork that inspires, and we have all the little things one needs to maintain life. We are also not wedded to our belongings. If everything were to burn in a fire, I’d be okay (I’d be sad and shocked, but I don’t think I’d spill too many tears over my dresser).

Now, we face the challenge of working through relocating our household overseas. Boxing up our life here – as homeowners with a child – means there are a lot more things that we must consider and make decisions about. Really, the decision of what to take and leave is not the big issue right now – it’s the ambiguous nature of the relocation package and the philosophical implications of the monetary vs time cost that have us hung up.

If we took everything we wanted to take, shipping estimates I’ve received place the cost in the range of $8,000 – $10,000 to ship from Los Angeles to London. Be still my heart. Whew. The relocation package states that the company will cover “reasonable” shipping costs (is this reasonable?) and they will not cover replacement, though they are offering an extra month of salary to cover incidental costs with the move.

I have calculated that the furniture we own and would take is worth $4500. The of course there’s the artwork, a pared down selection of my son’s toys, a pared down selection of our library, and the odds and ends we would like to hold onto that are useful for operating and living in a house and that also support our hobbies and interests (blankets, camping gear, crafting and entertaining accoutrement, a guitar, etc.). Who knows what this all amounts to, but it’s not a stretch to think it might at least be a couple thousand more dollars.

There is also this idea that we could simply purchase several extra suitcases for our flight over and just take all the small stuff and pay extra luggage fees – the only things we’d need to then buy upon arrival in the UK (after we found a place to live) would primarily be the furniture.

The other side to all this is the time and effort it takes to replace things. That is partially what makes the decision more complex – it’s not just a matter of “getting new stuff” but all the time, effort, and mental burden of reacquiring everything. I can’t say how I’ll feel on the other side of all this, but something tells me it might be nice to not have to buy all the things over again!

So, the bottom line is this – if shipping all the things costs $8,000 (minimum), and replacing the furniture and miscellany would potentially come close to that amount – is it worth shipping at all?

Oh man, I don’t know.

D sent an email to his HR contact to clarify the issue. What we really need is for someone to set the bar for us – that is what I hope for. There are so many decisions to make that I’d like someone else to make this one for us. From there, the decision tree will grow on its own.